


Passing Notes

by Kittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crying, Crylo Ren, Hurt/Comfort, Love Letters, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pre-Relationship, Temper Tantrums, i spent too long as it is writing it, idk what else to tag this as, so if i forgot a tag just let me know, thanks friend for help with the tags, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 02:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15742119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittens/pseuds/Kittens
Summary: Kylo wants to tell Hux how he really feels about him, but he can't find the words. So instead, he leaves Hux notes in hopes that Hux will say something. But Hux has no idea who's been leaving him the notes.





	Passing Notes

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kyluxxoxo Fest 2018
> 
> Week 7: Cross/Leave/Secret

Kylo stomped away from the remains of his latest rampage. Surely, he’d hear all about just how much it would cost from Hux later as he always did. He really didn’t mean to cause as much destruction as he did, but when he gave in completely to the dark side, it just happened. Kylo didn’t even remember doing it. He only remembered feeling frustrated and then he stood in front of a destroyed console.

Unfortunately, he seemed to be caught in an endless cycle with Hux. Every time he destroyed anything, Hux chewed him out either in person or in text. And then, Kylo just grew frustrated because that wasn’t the interaction he wanted with the general, and every attempt he tried to make it better went unnoticed. Which of course, only made his frustration grow until he destroyed something else and started the cycle all over again.

Even though he knew he had to do something different - like try talking to Hux in person - Kylo ended up back in his quarters, prepared to continue the cycle. Maybe it would finally be the time Kylo managed to get across just how he felt in his note.

Looking at the blank piece of paper in front of him, he couldn’t think of exactly what to write that might convince Hux that there was more to him than a “destructive child” or any of the other things Hux accused him of being.

He took a deep breath and placed the tip of his pen to the paper and wrote what he really wanted to say to Hux, knowing he’d never manage to say it in person.

 

Hux returned to his quarters after he’d finished on the bridge, but his work day was far from over. It never really ended. Especially not with Ren running loose on his ship, destroying everything in sight. He’d already been informed about his latest tantrum and that was one of the many reports he’d need to take a closer look at before hopefully getting at least three hours of sleep.

When he stepped into his quarters, he almost immediately noticed that something was out of place. Removing his cap and gloves, he placed them down next to the piece of paper on his table and couldn’t help but smile as he touched it. He’d yet to figure out just who might be leaving the notes, but whoever it was had absolutely stunning penmanship. Hux had tried looking at samples of handwriting, although it was hard to come by since most officers never had need to write things by hand. 

He unfolded the paper and looked at the lettering more so than the actual words, admiring the skill. He traced several letters with his finger before turning his attention away from it. First, he needed to go through the latest Kylo Ren damage report, and then he could read the note. It would be a welcome distraction after having to deal with Ren. 

Perhaps Ren should take up calligraphy classes, Hux thought as he started in on the report. He might have laughed at the thought, if he hadn’t been so tired. He could never imagine Ren ever creating something as beautiful as the letter sitting on his table. But clearly, the man needed something to help him control his temper and telling him to figure it out himself clearly wasn’t working. Maybe he should suggest calligraphy to him. It certainly couldn’t make things any worse.

He authorized the repairs for the recent damage, but it would be some time before it actually happened. There were plenty of other repairs to be made - surprisingly, not all Ren related - and since nothing critical was damaged, it would likely be several weeks to a month. Hux sighed, remembering the ship before Ren graced them with his presence. He missed those days.

Very quickly, he typed out a message to Ren, asking him once again to refrain from destroying his ship. After he sent that one, he sent another telling him he needed to talk to him at his earliest possible convenience. 

Once that was out of the way, he turned his attention to the note and read it several times. They never said anything that would help Hux identify the writer. For the most part, the notes simply contained compliments, both about his abilities as a leader and his appearance.

Someone on the ship was certainly harboring a secret crush, and although Hux knew he shouldn’t encourage the behavior, as long as it didn’t escalate, he saw no reason to try to stop it. And it was nice to read the notes after a long day.

Any pleasure he got from the note quickly disappeared when his door suddenly slid open and a dark mass stormed in. Hux frowned at Ren, unable to think of anything the other man might want.

“I’m busy,” Hux said, trying to return his attention to the note. But he’d already read its contents and there was no sense rereading it now. Ren had destroyed any chance of a good mood.

“You said you wanted to talk to me,” Ren said. 

“I didn’t mean right now,” Hux said, dropping the note to the table and standing up. Ren’s eyes seemed fixed to the piece of paper and Hux was quick to stand between them. The last thing he needed was Ren reading the letter.

“At my earliest possible convenience,” he said. “That’s what you said.”

“I suppose I did,” Hux said. “Well, let’s make this quick. Your tantrums are becoming far too frequent. You need to do something else - anything else - to get yourself under control before you damage something critical.”

To Hux’s surprise, Ren reached up and removed his helmet. He couldn’t remember him ever doing so without being prompted, and he couldn’t imagine why he’d decided to take it off. But as long as he stopped destroying everything in sight, Hux really didn’t care about whether or not he wore that stupid bucket over his head.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean you need some other outlet for your anger,” Hux said.

“What’d you have in mind?” Ren asked, stepping closer but Hux refused to be intimidated. 

“Have you considered calligraphy?”

“What?” Ren sounded absolutely confused at that, and Hux wouldn’t be surprised if he had no clue what that even was.

“Some members of my crew apparently spend their time in more productive ways than you. Doing things like writing. You might benefit from it.”

“You want me to… you think… do you…” Ren couldn’t finish a single thought and stormed out of the room, replacing his helmet as he went. Hux remained standing just to make sure he didn’t come back. Once he was certain he was gone, he returned to his work.

 

Kylo couldn’t believe how stupid he was. He’d had the perfect opportunity to talk to Hux and tell him the truth about how he felt about him, but when he’d had the chance, he’d somehow forgotten how to speak in full sentences. As soon as he made it back to his own quarters, he removed his helmet again and threw it against a wall.

At least Kylo didn’t feel alone in his stupidity - Hux hadn’t realized that he was the one leaving the notes in his quarters. How he hadn’t figured it out, Kylo wasn’t sure. No one else would have had such easy access to his rooms. And as far as Kylo knew, calligraphy wasn’t standard in the education of First Order personnel. It should have been very obvious who was responsible for the notes.

When Hux had sent him the message requesting to meet with him, Kylo had hoped he’d finally decided to act on the many notes Kylo had left. He’d hoped that he’d wanted the same thing. But he’d been wrong. Hux simply wanted to tell him to get a hobby.

Kylo didn’t know if he wanted to scream or cry, and eventually he settled for kicking his bed and yelling at it in frustration. He should have told Hux how he felt or said anything at all. Instead, he’d made himself look like an idiot. Hux clearly didn’t feel the same. He’d never even attempted to be nice. Why he even wanted to tell Hux was beyond him. He’d only end up being rejected.

Still, he hated constantly seeing the person he loved and not being able to do anything about it. Maybe the rejection would cure him of his affliction. Or make things worse. But Kylo wouldn’t know until he managed to talk to him. Or Hux figured it out on his own. Kylo didn’t know which was more likely to happen.

He heard his door opening and he went back to his front room, although there was little reason to do so. Hux was the only one on board who could override his security. And that’s exactly who he saw walking into his rooms.

“What do you want?” Kylo demanded. Now, of course, he managed to speak.

“You seemed angry,” Hux said. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t about to run off to destroy anything. But if you’re going to throw a tantrum, I suppose this is the best place for you to do it. At least you’ll only destroy your own things in here.”

“Get out.”

“Since you interrupted me, it’s only fair I do the same to you. We didn’t finish our conversation.”

Kylo turned and went back to his bedroom and closed the door. Hux could stay if he wanted, but it didn’t mean he had to talk to him.

 

Hux was tempted to follow Ren into his bedroom and demand he talk to him, but he was too tired to deal with Ren any further. If he wanted to sulk, that was fine with him. Hopefully, he’d get it out of his system and be back to normal soon. Or whatever passed for normal with Ren.

He was about to leave when something on Ren’s table caught his eye. Walking over, he saw what might have been the biggest shock of his life. There were writing implements and paper laying on the table. He picked up a pen, unable to believe he had found it in Ren’s quarters. But just because he had the tools didn’t mean he was the one who had been leaving him notes. Even if he had a stack of the exact same paper. 

There was a leather bound book on the table as well and Hux put the pen down and picked it up. As soon as he opened it, he could see that the handwriting perfectly matched those of the notes. He’d learned what he needed, and he knew he should probably put the book down and leave, but he also realized he was holding Ren’s journal in his hands. He couldn’t count the times he’d wondered what went through Ren’s head. Perhaps it was time to find out.

He sat down and began skimming through the pages. It mostly seemed to be training notes and plenty of mentions of Darth Vader. Of course Ren’s journal was filled with that. It was almost enough to make Hux put the book down, but something else caught his eye. Ren had written about him as well. At first, it was what Hux expected - insults and complaints. But he kept reading.

He probably shouldn’t have been so shocked given the nature of the notes Ren had left him, but reading Ren’s exact thoughts was a slightly different matter. He’d written plenty about not knowing how to tell Hux and how he’d started leaving him notes in hopes he would catch on. There were times when Ren had written about his frustration that nothing had changed between them. And there were a few things that made Hux blush.

Most importantly, however, were three words buried in with the rest of the text. Although Ren clearly had a secret crush on him, seeing the words “I love him” were still somewhat unexpected, even if they were crossed out.

Hux wasn’t sure what to do with the information he’d just learned. His first thought was to leave and pretend he’d never read the journal and never learned who had left him the notes. But at the same time, it did open up a very new possibility. He’d assumed that the person had left him the notes because it would have been inappropriate for them to pursue a relationship with him. Hux had never tried to find out either since he didn’t think anything would actually be possible.

But there were no regulations that prevented him from doing whatever he wanted with Ren, as he wasn’t an official part of the First Order military. He’d never thought of Ren in that way before, but now that he knew how the other man felt, he couldn’t stop thinking of it. He certainly wasn’t unattractive, now that he thought about it. And he really couldn’t think of any good reason to walk away.

He looked at the closed door leading to Ren’s bedroom. All he had to do was walk in there and talk to him. But he wasn’t certain he’d be any better than Ren when it came to talking about his feelings. He had no idea what he would say to him or how, but he didn’t think he could leave without at least trying to talk to him.

 

Kylo had curled up on his bed, hating himself for being unable to talk to Hux. When it came to being rude or hurling insults, he had no trouble speaking to him. But he’d had yet another chance to tell him and he’d blown it. Again.

The door slid open and Kylo wiped the tears from his eyes before sitting up to face the door. Of course it was Hux and he really didn’t want to talk to him. Not even to insult him. He laid down again, not even caring that he had his back to Hux. If he shot him, he’d at least be put out of his misery.

He felt Hux sitting down on the bed, which was the last thing he expected. But then, Hux did something else unexpected. He put his hand on his cheek and when Kylo turned his head to look at Hux, he leaned down and kissed him.

Kylo didn’t know how long the kiss lasted because as soon as Hux’s lips touched his, he lost his ability to think. He’d imagined what it’d be like to kiss Hux countless times, but he’d never imagined it’d be so perfect.

When Hux pulled away, Kylo finally moved, reaching up to put an arm around Hux, unable to believe that it was really Hux on his bed, letting him touch him. And Hux was touching him too, his thumb caressing his cheek. 

“Me too,” Hux said before kissing him again.


End file.
